Other Things I Would Enjoy Seeing Cut Out of Bella Swan’s Uterus

• A vampire baby eating another baby vampire
• John Boehner’s disembodied head
• A cogent, leftist argument against the human rights and constitutional violations that would necessarily accompany any passing of a “Personhood Amendment”
• A clone of Bella, except one with an actual personality and a will to fucking live
• A temperamental ferret
• A black swan
• A sobbing Twi-Mom
• A delicious Thanksgiving dinner
• A new, actually super, Super Committee
• Arya Stark, sword in hand
• More jobs?
• Buffy
• Some crazy shit out of a Goya painting
• Two free tickets to The Book of Mormon
• A signed, first edition copy of Bunnicula
• 283.5 Million Dollars

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