Msnowe's Blog

Michelles Against Michel[l]es**

Posted in Uncategorized by m.snowe on January 28, 2011

If we have learned anything from the wisdom of the ancients, or the mystical revelations of the oracle of time, we have learned that sometimes you have to throw up your hands and say this: Bitches Be Crazy!

Of course, there are the male equivalent of “bitches,” and they often “be crazy” too. But sadly, the plight of the crazy woman is that much more severe, and unfairly reflects that much more poorly on her very sane, lovelier partners in gender (i.e. all other women, who aren’t any more crazy-insane than the average male).

But lately, msnowe has noticed that certain crazy bitches share one ornamental and superficial, yet essential quality: the first name “Michele,” or in some sadder cases, “Michelle” with the double “l.” Obviously, msnowe has a vested interest in those with this name.

There are more, but here’s the short list:

–Michele Bachmann: This Tea Party Congresswoman cuckoo bird is from Minnesota, a usually sedate state.

She’s anti-abortion, anti-environmental reform, and thinks we’re all going to face death panels. Oh, and she thinks the “gay community” is targeting “our” children. Wait, what? YOU ARE SO NOT A MICHELE!

Michelle Malkin: This fiasco hails from Pennsylvania, and blogs and commentates for whatever right-wing thing she feels like.

She’s anti-immigration (even though her parents immigrated?), anti-women’s rights, and anti-unemployment extensions. She plays dirty and doesn’t care. She calls Obama a “racial opportunist.” Wait, what? YOU ARE SO NOT A MICHELLE!

According to Urban Dictionary, which adapts to cultural trends much more fluently than the OED, a “Michelle” might be: 1. One who is amazingly conceited and very crazy. They are also nymphos.

Given the state of things, msnowe can understand why some might feel that way. But if there are any sane, awesome people out there named Michelle, or Michele–msnowe entreats you! Let’s take back the name! Who’s with me?

Oh, thank goodness, there you are, Michelle! Phew… (Although, you and msnowe need to have a sit down about calling yourself, first and foremost, Sasha and Malia’s mum. That’s nice, but not very progressive of you.)

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