Msnowe's Blog

Cluck, cluck.

Posted in Uncategorized by m.snowe on August 2, 2010

Hey Crosley, let’s talk about some of the things all the women in the reading audience were thinking when they read your almost unreadable op-ed in the NYTimes the other day.

Your most egregious paragraph is thus–

“Third, and this one every woman in the crowd was thinking but was articulated by a friend when she leaned toward my ear and shouted, her words vibrating painfully: ‘Well, at least she’s got the body for it.’ True, she did.”

#1–EVERY WOMAN in a crowd doesn’t think anything collectively. We are not some homogeneous mass of chicken heads (unless, of course, we all happen to be irredeemable hipsters talking about that awesome concert we just went to the other night, of that band you’ve never heard of, that are actually quite painful to listen to, but dammit, hipsterdom is pain).  m.snowe would laugh if you were saying this with some kind of irony. But she really thinks you aren’t. And that’s sad. Not only do you characterize women as all unoriginal, pre-programmed twits, you’ve made us incredibly shallow and vain. Your article also reveals how vain you are. How many times do we have to hear about bare calves, cadbury-fed thighs, etc.?

#2 — Chicken-fight metaphors linked to nudity are an incredible stretch. Even the Goofy/Pluto pants /no pants question is one worth more intellectual toil.

#3 — You employ phrases such as “sexy groundhogs,” and a “hairdryer’s version of surround sound.”

#4 — This entire closing paragraph:

“You see, nudity’s permanence would still require an unfathomable shift in our culture, not just an unbearable spike in our thermometers. Frankly, New Yorkers don’t have the system to support a permanent change right now. We have enough riding on our shoulders.”

–Oh look, you tied it back to chicken-fighting! Aren’t you clever! Except, all your cutesy (intellectually insufferable) similes and metaphors don’t actually claim anything. Basically, your article, striped of its horribly stretched word play, reads: “OMG, it’s HOT!” You don’t really support anything, and you don’t really accurately describe anything about NYC either–you just expanded on some of the crazy thoughts in your head on the way back from a concert. Please tell us you were drunk. Thnx.

There are at least 20 more comments m.snowe could make. One of which is–NYTimes, how did you let this get posted?

2 Responses

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  1. fictionadvocate said, on August 3, 2010 at 4:34 am

    She could probably get away with such incredibly blase generalizations if they were even remotely funny. Other women have written funny generalizations about “life in New York City.” Nora Ephron, Carrie Fisher, Tina Fey. But not Sloane Crosley. Her stories have all the hallmarks of broad humor writing except the humor. She has to be a lot smarter before she can be funny.

  2. m.snowe said, on August 3, 2010 at 7:20 am

    Well, this explains a little more about why the NYTimes publishes her writing:
    It’s good to be a Vintage Publicist (with shiny hair!)

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