Msnowe's Blog

*Sigh*

Posted in Uncategorized by m.snowe on January 17, 2009

Msnowe, like most people, instinctively knows what she deserves. What she does not like is having people tell her what she deserves, and acting accordingly. And often, there is a discrepancy between what one is karmically owed, and what one wants–in fact, all too often, we find ourselves wishing for things that perhaps are less (or much less) than what we actually deserve, upon reflection. Luckily, the world isn’t fair enough to recognize karmic debts. But not so luckily, the people around us seem to operate on the principle anyways. Sigh.

a stolen season: another quick thought

Posted in Uncategorized by m.snowe on January 16, 2009

Msnowe wonders about sustenance. Not in the form of food and drink, but in the form of relationships, ways of life, etc. Sometimes, in the middle of a way of living, an attitude, a relationship, msnowe jumps up with a start and knows, just knows, that despite her best attempts of sustaining, she is living in a dying world. All is flux, and once we get the glimpse of things we’d wish to freeze-frame, it hits us more than ever. Being In Time is like that.

As a femiladyist, it is expected of you to roll with the punches, and come back with a cleverly placed and effective right hook. And msnowe is often depressed by those poor saps who refuse to understand the constant, insane dialectic, but more often forgets that sometimes she tries to be a fix’d mark upon it, too.

Pet.

Posted in Uncategorized by m.snowe on January 15, 2009

Crawling on my floor,

reaching underneath the bed

trying to find that old notebook, my arm

was strained and then

there was another ache.

Cursing my bruise you found another way

to creak the joints.

Tinkering with muddled skeins

I push you out and you are knotted up

across a psychic umbilical–

there’s some strange succor in

hating that twisted monologue.

Wean and feed and bleed out all the extra;

lullaby the lies and wait for patience

some time will make a whole and separate self.

stature

Posted in Uncategorized by m.snowe on January 14, 2009

I am intimidated by your bookshelf.

Not the tomes that clutter up the panels,

but their height, the untattered crisp-paper-billness;

the inescapable title language that jumps out to judge

me by, as i lay awake, folded inside your sheets and covers.

 

As I lean, tip-toe, and strain my blurry eyes to read the top shelf

you say that I was taller than you remembered.

As if it was a disappointment.

How do I reconcile my lust to tower over,

with your heightened prayer, as we both stare

into a pulling eye–

a weird and wary will.

 

But still to think of your ceiling-floor embankment

and reach out to have that encircle

the arms that press so hard

and mold me still, wanting more.

Just a very small thought

Posted in Uncategorized by m.snowe on January 13, 2009

msnowe used to be surprised by all the things she would observe while simply walking down a street in the city. Half-naked people, people pushing catering carts full of food, people talking on the phone the same way she imagines they would while in private, etc. Then today it finally hit her, while she saw, in 30-degree-weather, a cater pushing his cart of coffee urns down the sidewalk, deftly avoiding small patches of ice spattered across the pavement as if second-nature:

People in the city treat sidewalks like hallways, or enclosed spaces–there is a vanishing sense of being in public.

And this is easy to understand, perhaps. As the concrete buildings block out the natural light, and the crowds of people make you feel anonymous, there is no sense of guarded privacy, and the businesses and amenities don’t make it feel like you could possibly be outside, unless some strongly adverse weather condition is constantly reminding you (i.e. pounding rain or howling winds).

Perhaps that is why, sometimes when msnowe shuts the door on the inside of her apartment after her trek home at night, she might feel glad to be out of the cold, but she doesn’t feel like she’s really come in from the outside. . .

Anti-

Posted in Uncategorized by m.snowe on January 9, 2009

They say, we are better served cold.

we better visit in the fall.

Our advice

would be to only remember you just before we met–

before we saw or spoke.

No lips touched, no forever adieu,

no arms embrace.

The best thought thought

is one not thought

a dawn before the fall

a bolt before the blue

a haunting notion unchristened

splashing your face, awoken

in the middle of the night.

Anticipation

Posted in Uncategorized by m.snowe on January 9, 2009

Pissed off and Pissed on

Posted in Uncategorized by m.snowe on January 8, 2009

{msnowe never made a comment about baseball and softball being stricken from the Olympic record after this year. So let’s take a moment to think about this now.}

Olympics, by and large, really aren’t that great. They’re more a showcase of brute country strength (OMG medal count!) than they are of individual talent (Phelps aside, of course). Americans (and to some extent international folks) recognize pro athletes from the US teams more than they ever will Olympic athletes. And that makes sense–pros play hundred of games, and have major endorsements, and live lavish lifestyles we’re obsessed with chronicling. But the Olympics offer a chance for relative unknowns to show off their abilities (hopefully gained naturally, and not by juicing), and gain a little renown while promoting sport and competition. Also, they can propel a sport’s popularity (Think: American women’s soccer right after the US Women’s world cup final; though we won’t mention how women’s pro soccer is now defunct in the US).

But to get back on track–the Olympic committee, in their ignorance disguised as wisdom, scratched baseball and softball from the sports roster for the next summer games. Whatever you think about this decision, right or wrong–it is more of a blow to women’s softball than it will ever be to baseball–and the idea that if you cut one sport you have to cut the other, well that’s just plain sexist.

Why? –Baseball will not suffer. The dream of making the big leagues will still be there. But with softball? There are no big leagues. There was only the shot at special tournaments, and the Olympics. Not many people may know of Dot Richardson, or Lisa Fernandez, but if you played little league softball 10 years ago, these were your idols (especially Richardson, who’s a kick-ass player and orthopedic surgeon–how many Yankees or Dodgers do you know with a doctorate?). They earned their status by winning the Olympics, and yes msnowe did consider trying to have the nickname of “Dot” catch on, to no avail.

This is why it pains msnowe to hear about the “parity” of cutting both sports from the Olmypics. At least kick-ass Dot is still fighting the good fight.

10/09/05

Posted in Uncategorized by m.snowe on January 7, 2009

Compose–

If only I could construct

rose-colored prose

so beautiful, yet thorny

as serious as shucked wrists

ready to spurt

faithful life geysers

flooding to death

the end is

Poetry–Again

Posted in Uncategorized by m.snowe on January 6, 2009

In case you couldn’t read the black-screen format, I’ve changed the look of my new poetry blog so it’s easier on the eyes.

Cheers!